- Guys who say "no pic, no chat" are looking to hook up. I don't care what they say on their profile or what they say if pressed - they're looking to hook up. They'll usually respond that they just want to see who they're talking to, but these guys seem to handle telephone calls without being hopelessly confused.
Try this exercise: on gay.com or a similar service, find a face picture of an average but not great-looking guy and post it as your own, then try talking to these guys who just say they want to "see who you are." 39 times out of 40, when they see you're not a Greek God, then they don't want to see who you are or talk to you.
"no pic, no chat" means "I only want to talk to people I'd hook up with." Period. - By the way, "I have a face pic so you should too" doesn't even rise to 2nd-grade thinking. If I put something that looks like a credit card number in my profile, should you have to do the same to chat with me? If you only want to chat with people who do exactly what you do, what you're looking for is not a chat, but a mirror. The same goes for guys who post about how "masculine" they are and say "looking for same." That means "I wish I could make love to my mirror but there are no holes in it."
- I don't post my face picture for the same reason I'm not writing about this on another blog or in another outlet - I don't want to. People don't run away screaming when they see me, I'm not in the closet, and I don't hide my BDSM interest. I just don't want to talk about it in non-sexual contexts for the same reason that A-list bloggers don't post about their sex lives. That's not the forum for that stuff. This is. I don't want to deal with people trying to discredit other parts of my life by saying "you can't take him seriously, he likes to tie guys up." You can take me seriously, and I like to tie guys up, but only the guys who like being tied up.
I have pictures, and I send them to whom I want when I want - usually not until a face-to-face meeting is planned. I don't have to post my picture publicly because you want to see it, or because you posted yours (especially one of those ridiculous faceless torso or package/ass shots), or because you think you're entitled to it. My life, my rules. Deal with it. - Submissive guys who say "willing to relocate" but don't post their current location are not willing to relocate.
- If I open a private chat with you, it does not mean I want to have sex with you. I know this confuses the college-age boys, some of whom are very nice and with whom chatting is a pleasure, but it's true. Not everyone older than you who talks to you wants in your pants. If you don't have an expressed BDSM interest and I open a chat window with you, chances are pretty good that I just wanted to talk about other matters, perhaps something expressed in your profile or bio line. I don't hide my BDSM interests at such times, but I'm not trying to get into anyone's pants.
- Your willingness or desire to have sex with me does not create any willingness or desire on my part to have sex with you. Again, this confuses many college-age boys.
Just so we're clear on these things. More may come later.
