Also...

...I still miss the piggy boy.

That iswasall, until he contacted me. Now I'm both hopeful and sad.

...and now I'm just sad again.

What I Seek

This day has frazzled me in unexpected ways, and maybe that's not the best day to write about what I want in a boy. But I'm also frazzled that Recon profiles are short, gay.com profiles are both short and impossible to read (and the service is too expensive to use without a discount), and Grindr profiles are basically as long as Twitter messages. I opened a Twitter account just so Grindr could link to it and let people know what the hell it is I think I want.

Before I get into the asshole parts: I'm a nice guy. I'm smart, I'm funny, I'm not so ugly that I break mirrors but I'm never going to be on a magazine cover unless I do something really smart. I lead a mostly quiet and mostly private life. I love training new boys in BDSM, but I'm not really good at explaining the concepts to those who've never heard of them. Plainly, I'm a BDSM dominant. If you don't know what BDSM is, click here.

I do not require boys to have previous BDSM experience, but I do require them to be submissive—that is, to submit to what I want to do—and to know that BDSM arouses them. Don't sign up for sexual play that doesn't arouse you. "I'll try anything once" is not a good enough reason to get tied up.

Yes, tied up. Bondage. Also discipline, oral service, toys, long-term bondage, TT, CBT, and chastity, enforced with padlocks. Google can tell you what these things are if you don't know. And fucking is not a big deal for me. If you're looking primarily and regularly to get fucked, you're not looking for me.

I don't post pics online. If you do, I'm glad for you. I enjoy looking at your pictures. This does not change that I don't post pics online. If we get along well enough that I invite you to play here, I'm likely, but not guaranteed, to find a way for you to see a pic. If this post-telephone age has left you incapable of conversing with someone whom you can't see, there's not much I can do for you. I grew up in the telephone age. We talked to people we didn't see all the time.

And yes, often I'll expect to see a picture of you even though I don't return one of me to you. I'm the dominant. It's a one-sided relationship in some ways. A submissive needs to submit, but he can't do so unless a dominant man is willing to be dominant. Submission means I get my way. Limits are encouraged. If you don't know what limits are, read this. But be warned, at my age and experience level, I am not very likely at all to let a boy have this limit.

I love having conversations even with guys who are not into submission. If I message you and nothing indicates you're submissive, I'm probably just saying "hello" and maybe complimenting you on a profile or picture. I am not trying to get into your pants just because I send you a message. That said, all I really ask of anyone in chat or online is that you be honest and reliable. Don't say untrue things. Say "I don't know" if you don't know something. Don't say "I don't know" when it's clear you do know.

I am looking for a boy between 18-30 or so. I've had good conversations with boys who are older, and even some boys older than me, but I have never effectively dominated submissives outside of the above range. This wasn't so bad when I was younger, though as a 23-year-old Dom, it was hard to find younger subs. I will talk with people younger or older, but there will definitely not be any BDSM or sexual play with anyone under 18 (this is my rule, so don't lecture me how the law where you are allows 16-year-olds to play; I don't care), and I have yet to imagine the circumstance where there'd be play with someone older than that range. New things happen all the time, but if you're older than about 30, I'm not considering you as a slaveboy.

No smoking. Period. No cigarettes, cigars, pipes, whatever. I never liked tobacco and a bout with pneumonia a few years back has left me even less tolerant of it than before. I know many BDSM folk are horribly turned on by cigars or forced smoke or whatever. I can't help you there, and you can't smoke around me.

I think that's about it. There are safety rules in BDSM, but I don't need to go into those here. In my world, safety is always a submissive's choice in BDSM—that is, the sub can always require safety and it will be granted. The sub can request unsafe play, but that doesn't mean he'll get it. I'm not much into anal sex at all, so those who want to be "bred" and "filled up" and all that probably won't find anything they like here.

But I am kind (though still dominant), witty, reasonably smart, a good conversationalist, and someone who wants everyone to find his best happiness no matter what his sexuality may be. I may be cranky at times and outgoing at other times, but I like to think I'm a good friend to those who've made the effort. Maybe you'll be one of them.