Nothing.
Look, I know I'm weird. I like privacy more than most people because I've seen what happens when you lose it. I was never any good at cruising or going to bars or whatever, and I'm still not, and I'm okay with that. I'm overweight. I absolutely can't stand smoking, which rules out all the boys who have the cigar fetishes—cigars are worse than cigarettes to my lungs. I'm a BDSM dominant, and I have had such poor luck with older subs in the past (by which I mean older than about 30—I am grateful that my range is expanding as I grow older) that unless I am extremely attracted to such a boy, I won't even try. And yet I don't ever expect anyone to be attracted to me physically, though it has happened a couple of times for reasons I freely admit I still don't understand.
For these reasons, plus being a smartass and such, I haven't spent much time with many boys in my life. Having the puppy collared for nearly three years was incredible, but he's now a she and that's that (and it's easy to deal with because she's so happy now). I still miss the piggy boy every night, but that can't start up again anyway.
I had been chatting on Recon for a while to see who else was out there, if anyone, but there was no one nearby who could clear all the obstacles that, combined, are me. I had been on Grindr recently as well, but oh my god it's such a meat market that I don't see how anyone with a soul can be pleased with it. I know I've said this before, but I honestly do not get these kids who won't chat to someone who doesn't post face (or, often, dick) pictures. Do they never use the telephone to call strangers? "Eric, why don't you call the mechanic and find out if your car is fixed?" "I'd like to, but I don't have a face pic of him!" Madness.
Now Recon has shut down its chat rooms because, as they explained it, less than a third of their users had ventured into the chat rooms and they wanted to spend the resources on other things. Resources? They bought a Flash chat service and, as far as anyone could tell, mostly ignored it. In most businesses, 33% adoption of a site resource is a huge hit. But people were ignoring (or blocking) the incessant ads they were surrounding the chat room with, and there's nothing Recon can tolerate less than users who are using their servers but not spending money. Ironically, without chat to prompt me to look at more profiles per day than the limited free service allows, I really don't have much reason to renew the premium membership there.
Gay.com chat died over a year ago—I mean, it's still there, but it's an empty shell of what it was in 2006-2007. The Recon refugees are trying to figure out where to rebuild their online community with chat, but I'm not sure I'm going to participate. One possible site is owned by a "cash master" (ugh) who is only expanding it beyond his "cash slaves" because Recon is giving him an opportunity, but he's still limiting conversation to things he likes. Another seems limited in its topics and seems to have an eye on converting to for-profit status, and that's what killed gay.com (making the free service impossibly awful to use unless you pay a huge fee).
One of the two local boys who played here occasionally told me a year ago, when he was playing here (and backing out of something he'd pre-agreed to do) that he'd be moving in a year, so he'd have plenty of time to come back.
He didn't come back, of course. Another boy I'm talking to isn't too far away (maybe 2 hours), but he doesn't seem to actually do much in real life, and I'm quite skeptical anymore of boys who talk about things but only want to do something every 2 years. Age has granted me more patience in some areas and less in others, and which ones are which is not under my control.
So…no chat rooms operating suitable for any remotely local BDSM boys, no boys under serious discussion, no place to find them. What comes next? Nothing.
I'm still around on the instant messaging services, and checking out things at Recon (and even occasionally Grindr, despite so many of its denizens being intolerably empty-headed), but I'm neither expecting nor seeking anything. It's just time to realize that the past four years were great but aberrations in my normally-celibate life cycle, and get used to it again. I did pretty well without a regular boy to keep me satisfied, and as much as I loved owning those boys, I think I can do pretty well again.
