I think I'll take the rest of the year off of AIM, Yahoo, MSN and any other IM-style chat services. I've been scaling back on it some for the past few months, and it feels like the right time to just let it go for a while. The buddy list is exceedingly small, and those who are on it know how to get in touch with me in lots of other ways. :-)
But I am looking for a new place for gay, BDSM group chat. Recon chat was full of good folks (even though the Flash-based technology was shit) until they discontinued it a year ago to spend more money on—well, I'm sure they spent it on something. Gay.com's BDSM-related chats have been weak for several years, and as we enter 2013 they still don't have any way to access it on mobile devices (even though it's all HTML-based).
I can handle Grindr, Jack'd, and such even though they're full of vanilla types, but there's no group chat there either. I'm looking for a place where doms and subs come together and not only try to pick each other up, but also share stories, discuss experiences, bring questions to the table seeking input, and otherwise function kind of like a community.
I suspect such a place is out there, maybe even with some local participants, but I don't know where it is. Do you know of such a place?
Tuesday, December 04, 2012
Sunday, June 10, 2012
Maybe I doesn't speech so swell.
First: the boy I'd been talking with, who had been mine a couple of years ago, who had spent 8 months telling me he wanted to be owned again despite his fears, is no longer a candidate. His reasons for this are too ridiculous to mention.
(Don't get me wrong: I believe what he says. He's a good guy, in his own way that's different from the way of most other guys. He knows how much it would hurt me if he was lying, and I don't think he wants to hurt me. Nonetheless, were I to try to explain to you what happened, it would literally be ridiculous. So I won't.)
So what next? Probably nothing, for quite a while.
(Don't get me wrong: I believe what he says. He's a good guy, in his own way that's different from the way of most other guys. He knows how much it would hurt me if he was lying, and I don't think he wants to hurt me. Nonetheless, were I to try to explain to you what happened, it would literally be ridiculous. So I won't.)
So what next? Probably nothing, for quite a while.
Saturday, May 19, 2012
Current status
I would like to own a boy.
I have no reason to believe this will ever happen.
That's pretty much it.
I have no reason to believe this will ever happen.
That's pretty much it.
Sunday, January 15, 2012
Pictures
I can't give you direct quotes, but this is very close to a lot of the text I just got in a Grindr chat with a nearby cute boy who was allegedly seeking "friends":
No, he didn't read what I sent him on limits or communication, because "I don't come here to read a novel about a guy I'll never meet." And his asinine comment about BDSM people being "kidnappers" provoked an angry response from me pointing out that it was no better than saying a pedophile was a "person like him." That was not my finest hour. *sigh*
But here's my point to everyone else: This is why I won't post pictures.
This place isn't what most would call a heavily populated area. The entire state of Oklahoma has about half the population of just the San Francisco Bay Area. The whole state. Gay boys tend to gravitate to certain jobs and recreational areas, and there aren't thousands of such places. Maybe a dozen.
So if I post my face picture, and assholes like this kid see me out and about, do you think I want him spitting in my food if he's the waiter at the restaurant I choose? Or keying my vehicle, vandalizing my home, or spreading unfounded and incorrect rumors? Or that I want straight boys from around here, who play on Grindr looking for targets, to pass my face pic around because it's easier to target someone like me than a younger "all-American boy?"
I've been in gay chat rooms and watched, amazed and frightened, as people whom I have never met told elaborate stories of evil things I had supposedly done, using my real name. Things that never happened, passed around as total fact, right in front of me, all because the liars didn't know that the real name they were slandering mapped to my screen name.
And no, I didn't speak up. My friends in the room asked if they could speak up, and I asked them not to, because I don't care what the liar thinks. Never met him, never will. I care when it causes trouble in my daily life, like in eating at a restaurant with a waiter who's like this kid, or when drunk guys try to trash my car, or if someone starts loudly spreading lies about me in the grocery store while I'm standing right there, all because I am a BDSM dominant.
It's not theoretical. I know what these things are like, and I'm not going to make it easier for them to express their hate. I do not keep pictures of me online because it promotes abuse from boys who do not understand and do not want to. I simply choose not to spend my days fighting them.
If that makes you think less of me, well, you probably weren't going to think much of me anyway. I'm open and honest with anyone who asks, but I don't advertise IRL.
besides, you're like 280 pounds. What could you have to offer besides controlling someone's life?
I had a friend who was in a relationship and he was kidnapped by someone like you. After reading your ventings on your blog I know I want nothing to do with a "sir" like you.
No, he didn't read what I sent him on limits or communication, because "I don't come here to read a novel about a guy I'll never meet." And his asinine comment about BDSM people being "kidnappers" provoked an angry response from me pointing out that it was no better than saying a pedophile was a "person like him." That was not my finest hour. *sigh*
But here's my point to everyone else: This is why I won't post pictures.
This place isn't what most would call a heavily populated area. The entire state of Oklahoma has about half the population of just the San Francisco Bay Area. The whole state. Gay boys tend to gravitate to certain jobs and recreational areas, and there aren't thousands of such places. Maybe a dozen.
So if I post my face picture, and assholes like this kid see me out and about, do you think I want him spitting in my food if he's the waiter at the restaurant I choose? Or keying my vehicle, vandalizing my home, or spreading unfounded and incorrect rumors? Or that I want straight boys from around here, who play on Grindr looking for targets, to pass my face pic around because it's easier to target someone like me than a younger "all-American boy?"
I've been in gay chat rooms and watched, amazed and frightened, as people whom I have never met told elaborate stories of evil things I had supposedly done, using my real name. Things that never happened, passed around as total fact, right in front of me, all because the liars didn't know that the real name they were slandering mapped to my screen name.
And no, I didn't speak up. My friends in the room asked if they could speak up, and I asked them not to, because I don't care what the liar thinks. Never met him, never will. I care when it causes trouble in my daily life, like in eating at a restaurant with a waiter who's like this kid, or when drunk guys try to trash my car, or if someone starts loudly spreading lies about me in the grocery store while I'm standing right there, all because I am a BDSM dominant.
It's not theoretical. I know what these things are like, and I'm not going to make it easier for them to express their hate. I do not keep pictures of me online because it promotes abuse from boys who do not understand and do not want to. I simply choose not to spend my days fighting them.
If that makes you think less of me, well, you probably weren't going to think much of me anyway. I'm open and honest with anyone who asks, but I don't advertise IRL.
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