Some random chat observations

Every time I see a sub/boy complaining online that there aren't any dominant men out there, I'm tempted to unload about why I don't take most of them seriously. I've mentioned some before in this category, but I had a few others on my mind tonight, so here you go: reasons why doms (or, at least, me) write off submissives:

• If you post an automatic ad in the chat room (pasting the same ad and repeatedly sending it so "new people in the room" see it) but yet don't respond to private messages, you're presumed to be either fake or shallow.

• Boys who don't have pictures posted but also say they're looking for webcam are obviously full of shit. If you have a webcam, you can post a picture. If you want to keep your identity secret, you're not going to be doing webcam with strangers. You can't have it both ways.

• Boys (well, people in general) who don't respond to "hello" messages in private are saying they're not worth talking to.

  I say that with full awareness that, at times, I do this myself. But for me, it's usually with guys who are looking for a hook-up or cyber sex and who send me private messages despite the fact that:

  1. They have to read my profile to get the password to send a private message, and

  2. That same profile pretty clearly says I don't look for cybersex or hookups, and

  3. My chat status on gay.com is almost always set to "Not Looking," which I repeatedly have to point out to some people who keep messaging me with "Woof!" or "I'M READY SIR" or other such messages that make me believe they didn't read anything at all.

  If you're a younger sub who's only looking for masters in a given age range, or geographic area, or body type, then say so in your profile or bio line. If you don't, you'll get messages from others. If I see that you don't want to talk to someone like me, I'm not going to message you, except just for idle chat if you're not busy. If you simply ignore it, don't expect the dom you want to take you seriously when you realize who he is and that you blew off a few of his messages several months ago.

• If you post auto-ads in the chat room such that I can see 2-4 of them in one window, I'm putting you on ignore. I'm quite sure I'm not the only one who does that. Auto-ads are a great way to make sure you never get quality responses.

• It's actually one of my very favorite things when people visiting town stop by the chat room and say hello, ask what's going on, look for tips about where to eat or dance or whatever, and generally show interest in the place they're visiting. So why, exactly, do so many guys come into the rooms for places they're visiting in 2-3 weeks, or 2 months, looking for hookups? Or enter a local chat room as if there was absolutely no gay scene here before they arrived, and therefore their arrival absolutely must be the best thing that ever happened?

  Hint: It's not. The place you're visiting got along fine before you arrived, and will be fine after you leave. No one's indispensable. Everyone likes visitors. No one likes assholes who think that a place can't be cool unless they're present.

I actually want a different observation to have a separate URL, so it'll come in another post. And I may make more of these over time, but they basically boil down to "quit acting like the chat room exists to serve your perceived needs." If people talk to you, respond. If you don't want to talk to them, make clear why before they even start and save everyone the trouble. Be clear and we'll all be happier.